Thunderstorms and Astral Travel

There is an absolutely amazing summer thunderstorm over us right now, and I'm outside on my front porch enjoying the hell out of it. It's been over two weeks since we had a good rain, or any rain at all for that matter, and the temps have been with a 105 degree heat index. So this storm is SO welcome, on so many levels.

I like to think I blog better when it's raining, or at least I seem to enjoy doing it that much more during these times.

On a forum I frequent, called Witchy Living, there is a chat discussion scheduled for 8pm Monday evening on the matters of astral travel and distance healing. I'm really really hoping I can manage to participate in this discussion. Distance healing is probably not something I could contribute a lot to, but astral travel is something I have always been very interested in, having actually experienced it, so I'm hoping to be able to share that experience, and to learn from what others have to say about their opinions and experiences.

I tried to meditate again last night. But I fell asleep instead. Again.

I hate to say this, but I sometimes I feel like I'm trying to force my spirituality onto myself.

I'm simply past those young teenage days when it's all I thought about and all I really wanted to discuss with anyone. It's almost as if I've become extremely comfortable with myself and my beliefs, and now I have no where else to go with it. But I know that's not true. I know there's TONS of stuff out there I could be studying and learning about. For one, I don't know where to begin, and for another, I don't know how I'll ever find the right amount of time. I need to understand that I don't have to practice EVERYTHING I learn about, but knowledge is power, right??

There was a time when that's pretty much all I did...I studied. I studied numerology, astrology, I studied the various forms of satanism, I studied the tarot and medicine cards. I was part of a another group that had VERY knowledgeable people in it. And of course I studied various forms of witchcraft and lessor magics. I studied symbols and I meditated and I interpreted my dreams. I studied OBE's and like was mentioned earlier, astral travel. Not only did I study these things, but I was living them, too.

I was so into it all. And now, I don't read up on or study or pay much attention to any of it.

It makes sad, because sometimes I feel like I am seriously missing out. It has always been a part of me, and always will be. So why can't I devote myself to it anymore??

That's why I started this blog, to sort of help myself along. Give myself a place to focus. Because that way in my life is calling to me again, and it's getting harder and harder to ignore it. I need a starting point, and trying to become more involved with Witchy Living and through keeping up this blog, I'm hoping to stay on the right track.

I don't discuss these things with Patrick. I honestly don't think he'd really understand where I was coming from, but at the same time I feel like he would be supportive of whatever I wanted to do. So that's a definite plus.

I have mixed feelings about exposing my kids to too many of my beliefs and practices, too. I truly want my children to grow up as untainted as possible, so that they can more freely decide for themselves what exactly it is that works for them. So I feel like I also have to find a way to not necessarily keep things secret from them, but to let them grow naturally into things.

But I suppose that's all I have for now. I'm going to head over to Witchy Living and attempt to put my two cents in the astral travel discussion...